she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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