the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
