I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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