it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
