Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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