hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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