Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
