As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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