I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
