GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
