my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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