My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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