pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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