She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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