I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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