period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
