I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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