Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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