My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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