I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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