Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
