It's just like the Real World with babies
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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