White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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