You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
