Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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