i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize