I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
