I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So squirting runs in the family.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
