ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
