That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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