i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
