life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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