There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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