I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
