I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
