You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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