he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
