And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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