I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize