I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize