My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
