Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
