Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
