i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
