hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
