I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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