RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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