I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
