Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
