I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
