Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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