So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
