A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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