we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
