tell your sister to shave her snatch
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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