Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
