They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
