Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
