C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
