Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
