I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
