I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
