I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
