Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
