New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
