Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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