finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
