I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
